Practice Makes It Possible

Bravery is just being ready

The band at a wedding is not playing a show; they are playing a gig. Especially early, in the cocktail hour, when all the guests are being shuttled up from the ceremony and are trying not to run for the barn after they all just spent an hour in the direct sun dressed in their suits with ties and dresses with Spanx. The band is just there to play, to make it artful and hip as everyone from two different families finds the shade and starts to get to know one another.

I don’t usually even like to sing in these situations. I prefer to keep this part of a wedding to instrumentals, as it’s easier to just be a part of the atmosphere. This is a service I provide; it’s not a show. The guests are not the audience. They’re there for each other, and that’s how it should be.

Last weekend, when BEECHARMER was playing a cocktail hour, the couple arrived, and they wanted to do their first dance right away. We played Leon Bridges’ “Beyond,” which has a catchy, singable riff at the end: “Oh me oh my I can’t explain, she might just be my everything.” As I was singing, I got the idea to bring the guests in on it. I stepped out of my background ambiance mentality and used some aggressive head bobbing and eyebrow lifts to convince (most of) them to join me.

It worked pretty well, but riding home in the van, completely parked in highway construction traffic, I couldn’t help wishing that I had been able to do more with that moment. What if I had stopped playing my guitar and put it down? If I had left my mic to come out in front of the band and gotten them clapping and in their bodies? What if I had dropped out of the singing altogether and just directed them, if I had just let this couple have their first dance sung to them by their people? I spent the ride home wishing I had more courage.

I’m not sure courage is the best thing to focus on.

As I’m drinking coffee by my garden and thinking back on the event with the benefit of hindsight, nothing I’m imagining in the situation actually takes courage. These are just skills. What I needed in that moment to execute that idea wasn’t more courage, it was more preparation. Sure, it would be bold to step out from that background musician vibe and lead the people to something unexpected, but it isn’t exactly courage that I need. It’s a plan. It’s practice. I needed a few specific skills in my muscle memory and a map of the moment to share with my band. I need practice taking off a guitar and placing it on a stand so that I can do it while keeping eye contact with the audience. I need to practice stepping out in front of the mic without knocking it over. It’s breaking the vision down into its elements and practicing those elements until they’re easy.

Courage and bravery are these abstract concepts that are just so hard to define. They are not exactly actions; they’re more traits or virtues that we admire. There’s a lot of understandable chatter about the need for more courage in the world right now, and I want to cultivate more of it, but when I try to reach out and touch what that means, it’s slippery and I can’t get a grip on it.

Practice is different. Practice is something I can do. It’s a verb. I can practice and be prepared the next time. I can make a sing-along moment a thing that I’m ready to try any time a couple is stepping onto the floor for their dance. I don’t have to be anything except ready.

I can’t help but think of all the places where I resist movement in my life, and that I maybe need to just identify more specifically what I need to practice. To bring up hard conversations: practice with a friend. To ask for more money, practice being ok with someone saying “no”. Seeing horrible things happening on the news: practice the script of what I will do and say if they happen in my presence. How to BE anything is challenging, because it is kind of out of your control, and is more about what someone else experiences you as. Focus on the action, and it is back in your hands. Don’t try to BE a writer. Just write something. Don’t try to BE a mountain climber, just get up a mountain. Don’t try to BE a brave person, ask what you need to be able to do in order to act boldly when the situation calls for it.

It’s all in the doing. It’s all in the practice.

Time, Tuning, Tone, Technique

I’m offering a music lesson workshop called The 4 Practice Tools on Sunday, Aug 3 at 1 pm Eastern.

What should I practice? and How should I practice? are the two questions that every musician has to ask themselves, from beginner to expert. There are 4 tools I reach for whenever I have a musical goal that I’m not sure how to reach.

These are the practice tools you need to get to where you want to go. They address the foundations of musicianship, which all happen to start with a “T” - Time, Tone, Tuning, and Technique. They are my 4 best friends when it comes to musical growth, and I want to introduce them to you.

These tools are REAL friends. They tell you the truth. They’re gentle and kind, but they tell you what is real. They want you to grow, and they will help you actually do that. Whether you are pouring your musical foundation or patching holes in your practice, these tools make all the difference. I have given this lesson 1 on 1 dozens of times, and I have seen it lift my students’ practice over and over.

These are the tools that give you the feedback you need to grow. You’ll learn how to use each one in ways that are creative, supportive, and productive. You can make the sounds you want to make and build a musical practice that gets you there, and you are probably closer than you think you are.

The tools are how you know what to do when you show up to practice.

I started learning music as a child, but didn’t learn to use all these tools well until I was an adult, and I can say from experience that my growth when I brought them into my practice was explosive. I now have more than 25 years working with these tools, and I want to share what they can do for your musicianship.

Join me for a hands-on session exploring the four most powerful and underused practice tools.

The workshop is included for paid subscribers of A Wilder Wonder, or if you are not into subscriptions, which I fully understand, you can get the workshop for $25.

I am hosting it on ZOOM, and anyone who comes live will be able to ask questions and learn ways to use these tools to address their own musical goals.

A replay will be available if you can’t attend live.

What do you want to sound like? I’ll show you how these tools can get you there.

All musicians are self-taught. A teacher can guide you and save you a ton of time, but you have to do the learning on your own, through your own practice. These are the tools you need in that practice.

And since we’re talking practice- here is my song “SAME MISTAKES”

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BEECHARMER HAS SOME UPCOMING SHOWS: